How DID We End Up Married On May 18, 2014?
Gary and I have been together since May 2007. This year, we began our 8th together. We knew that we wanted to get married on my birthday, this year. Before I tell you why, though, I need to explain the eights thing.
My favorite number in the whole wide world is the number 8. I say FAVORITE because while it may also be my lucky number, it is most often my favorite. And things do happen quite a bit for me in combinations of eight – good and bad. For as long as I can remember, this has been the way it’s gone on.
As with anything, after a time, you (or me, as the case may be) begin to consider (whatever) your “thing”. Such has happened with the number eight. Plus, come ON. It’s so SQUISHY and sexy and pretty and…
Oh. Right. I did promise myself I’d try not to slide too far off the track here. There might be folks here who are reading me for the first time. Okay. Where were we?
Right. So, G and I knew we wanted to tie the knot on my birthday this year. I was turning 42 (do the math), we were heading into our eighth year (do the math) together, my birthday is on the 18th of May (okay, sometimes I stretch the 8’s thing a tad)…
There were other really cool symbol-istic* things happening here:
- My parents were married on my mother’s birthday.
- My father passed away on her birthday, their 28th wedding anniversary, she was 53.
- This year marked 18 years since my father’s passing.
- May marked 8 months since I had become ill – still undiagnosed (more on that in future blog posts)
- Not related to the eights but simply wanting to honor both my parents by getting married on my birthday, as they had done on my mom’s birthday.
- G wore one of his dad’s suits to honor his father, who has also passed.
- We kept the ceremony small (8 people) due to costs, my health condition, and timing.
- We didn’t plan a lot of this, it just kept falling into place in that funky 8 way…
Oh, and I’m wearing my mother’s ring. It’s a stunning white-gold set that she wore for 28 years to symbolize her marriage to my father – one of the most amazing collaborations I’ve ever had the honor to witness.
A no-brainer for me – as I am fortunate to have one of those with G.
The proposal was absolutely AWFUL and I’m being honest because I know no other way. Papi had this whole big thing planned out. It was stunning, he told me later.
What actually happened was the day after I got out of the hospital in February, I was functioning about half my normal self. But I was coherent. And that morning after, I woke up moaning about how we had better get a move on with the proposal because May was right around the corner and if we didn’t….blah. blah. blah.
Because at that point G had heard enough. (This wasn’t the first time I’d whined about it, if you hadn’t guessed.) So, he grabs my mother’s ring off the top of the armoire and practically shoves it on my finger and tips my face up into his and says, “Will you marry me?”
Kinda angry like. Ya know. Annoyed.
It was wicked mushy and sentimental. Mark it down. Best/worst proposal EVER.
Because I’m telling you right now. ALL THIS BEGAN because he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him back in 2007. Everything we’ve been through and everything we are going to go through has all been because we are meant to be.
So, of course I said yes.
Later on, he explained how he WANTED to propose. If I told you, you’d cry. It involved a LOT of moving parts and people and one of our local movie theaters. Yes. WOW. But ya know? Everything happens the way it should.
Mark that down, too. Okay, moving on…
Our wedding bands were custom designed by a local artist and we were able to get a great deal because she and G work together in business. I don’t know how else to explain that but this is a good time to point out that I love our city (Portland, Maine) for this reason. A wonderful community of folks who genuinely care for each other and work to help each other succeed.
(You’ll find all pertinent links at the bottom of this page)
Our wedding bands, as you can clearly see, are EIGHTS. Infinity bands. This is another reason I love that squishy number. Eight upright means many things – lay it down and it goes on forever. Incorporating it into our bands was most important. That CC was able to do it so perfectly was truly a blessing for us.
Once we were engaged, the time seemed to fly by. I found a dress pretty easily. I knew what I wanted and I lucked out at Macy’s. I started calling myself the frugal bride. I don’t mind telling you that I paid less than $50 for it, online. Thank you, macys.com – you have a customer for life – as you saved me for several occasions that came after the wedding, as well.
I also wanted both Maggie (my daughter) and Mesa (G’s daughter) to take part in the festivities and because they are both musically inclined, this part was simple – sorta. From 2007, I’d dreamed that Mesa would sing. The song – Over the Rainbow – was kept a secret from G until she belted the first note on Our Big Day…but was picked on the 18th anniversary of my father’s passing – March 2, 2014.
I won’t share those details. You had to be there. So Mesa was set. She spent more than two months practicing her solo and she rocked the courtyard with her beautiful voice. I am so proud of her and love her so much. So blessed to be able to call her my bonus daughter.
For Maggie, I originally planned to have her read something. Until she decided she would learn how to play the Wedding March. She wanted to march her mother down the aisle.
Okay. I knew she was doing well with her sax playing. I did NOT know that she didn’t know half the notes required for this piece. Or that she was literally teaching herself. That part came later.
Oh My GOSH. I’m so proud of my kiddo. Seriously. What she’s done with that saxophone in such a short time. WOWZA. And I’m not just her mom about it. Really, it could have gone the other way – been a real chore, a pain in the rump, another “homework” thing to do.
But thankfully, she’s diggin’ it. And I’m glad for that. This will carry her far, in school and in life. And now that I’m done bragging on the kiddo…
So, yep. Here we are, long about the end of March and I realize that Mags is doing pretty good with learning how to play the Wedding March, but she’s having a bit of trouble with some of it. I keep imploring her to speak with her teacher at school; however, she’s reluctant.
I finally email. Her teacher comes on board. Stuff gets smoothed out. Things are going swell.
Then G breaks.
Not MY G – Papi. Thank goodness.
No. Poor Maggie’s G. On her Sax. And this was huge. For the full week before the wedding and with a huge section that she had just learned properly to play, she was without her Sax.
So what’s a Sax Girl to do? Air sax, of course. Which just means she had to practice her notes with her fingers and do some mouth humming. It was brutal for her. We were both relieved when she got her hands on her new saxophone, just 3 days before Our Big Day.
And mah bb grrl marched her mother down that aisle AWEsomely – of course! I am so proud of you and love you, true, my Boo!
Speaking of marching. I needed an escort, right? There was NO one better to walk me down the aisle then Gary’s ex-wife. I know, that might sound strange to you, if you don’t know us, personally.
So, I’ll let you in a little more. Kelsey and I are very dear friends. Were it not for her, I wouldn’t have come to Maine first (no more detail needed there). She has supported G and me from the beginning. Kelse and G have raised Mesa in amazing ways and I hope to be half the mom she is (my kiddo adores her – like an auntie or step-mom).
Our family situation isn’t (what society might consider) normal but we don’t care and it works for us. Our girls get Christmas morning with their parents and nearly every holiday, too (unfortunately Mags’ dad lives a distance, but we also get along pretty darn swell as well).
Kelsey was already coming to the wedding and I decided I wanted her to walk me down the aisle. Another no-brainer. Besides, everyone there pulled double duty that day, except for G’s mum. Unless you consider that she gave him to me – ultimately.
Thank you, Jackie. Sincerely. I promise (again) that I will take good care of him, as I have done, so will I continue.
Our fabulous friend David officiated our ceremony. He’s not a reverend, officially; but he is licensed to marry folks legally. OFFICIALLY, he makes letters. David is a master printer by trade – very talented at what he does. And in his off time, he marries people.
Well, just us, so far. But I’ll include David’s link below. Maybe he’ll marry you, too if he’s available when your time to tie it up, comes. I can tell you this: Gary and I are honored to have been joined in marriage by our friend. To be able to have that memory is such an important part of Our Big Day. Love you, David. Thank you for every day, and most especially for that special day!
Now, had I the opportunity to do it again with unlimited funds and lots of time and a wedding planner and no limitations on my cognitive functions?
I can honestly tell you that I’m not sure I wouldn’t do it all the exact same way again.
The only regret – if I were to regret anything and I do try not to do that, in all my life, as it isn’t healthy…
The one thing I missed was my side. I had a small freak out the day before and made a phone call to ease my ache. It didn’t fix what couldn’t be, but those who understand, UNDERSTOOD.
The ONE THING that G and I did was marry for us. We did it our way. In our time. And it happened exactly the way it was supposed to. I believe that. Oh, there were a couple things that happened at the last minute – photographer change, venue change – that could have tossed the whole thing.
But ya know? It didn’t.
The day. Our Big Day – was perfectly perfect in every way. And now you know. I do hope you’ve enjoyed a glimpse into our wedding day – May 18th 2014. Please take a moment to enjoy the image gallery if you haven’t done so, already. Any other pertinent links you may need are listed down below, as I mentioned above. If you have any questions, comments, or some other thing to say, please do so below or contact me directly. I return all email within 48 hours.
Designs by CC ♥ Designs by CC on Facebook ♥ Our wedding bands designer, a very talented local Maine artist.
Wolfe Editions ♥ Our friend, David, who married us brilliantly and who prints brilliantly in his other life.
White Dog Arts ♥ Because if you can’t plug your husband’s work proudly, then you should be ashamed of yourself. He’s shooting a pilot as I write this. No, not the guy who flies a plane. One of those reality show type of deals. Keep your fingers crossed, folks. As it happens, David is starring in this pilot episode, too. I’m sure I’ll be sharing more informatively about it all, on the blog, as time goes on…
*symbol-istic: I know. It’s one of those words that I took liberty with. I’ll soon be creating a glossary of San-isms for those of you who get your eye twitching whenever I do that. I make no apologies. I know how to spell properly and appropriately. I rarely text speak and I consider myself fairly – okay half way – well read. When I pop a San-ism (like I just darn did) it’s part of my writing style. Just thought you should know. Not everyone gets it but those who do, don’t mind it at all or much and I appreciate that in ways I can’t express with words – which, for me, is really quite bizarre. ♥