It’s been awhile since we’ve had a life lesson and I’m excited to share this one with you, today. That’s not to say we’ve not been doing some learning around here, always. We began this month with sharing (informatively) all about Mags Room Challenge 2015 and this life lesson #71 goes along with that.
Don’t Do, Teach.
While I have been plenty able in many other areas of my life to adhere to this rule, in regard specifically to Maggie and her room, I have failed time and again.
I wasn’t teaching her how to care for her room. I wasn’t giving her the proper tools to know how to care for her room, her things, her life inside those 4 walls.
I wasn’t teaching, I was doing.
And it wasn’t working.
Ya know, it’s funny – I am often told that I should teach. And I don’t want to sound all holier-than-thou with that. Especially because I don’t believe it to be true. I am not, at heart, a person who likes to teach. I think. Others would disagree. Fine. But because of my control-freak-ness (it’s a word, I made it up, so now it is), I have an awfully hard time giving over, sometimes.
Yah, I know. At least I’m aware. And I admit it.
I’m a parent.
PART OF MY JOB is to teach. I do that daily.
It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s not all that hard. I occasionally find myself giving myself a little pat on the back when I’ve wowed the crowd with my awesome parenting skills.
Oh, I’m humble. Tis better than the alternative.
Anyway, let’s bring this train back on track.
As much as I go on about being a sucky teacher, I do it. Daily. To varying degrees.
Which is how I arrived at this life lesson #71.
Don’t Do, Teach.
For all the years that it has been possible for me to parent (teach) the kid into taking better care of her room*, I’ve been NOT doing that – instead, I’ve simply been doing for her.
Oh, I’ve thrown a few tips at her along the way. But nothing that really stuck – as we all witnessed throughout this journey. And I knew her frustration about her room; it was on level with mine, if for different reasons – it was real. We just couldn’t get to common ground.
Until I sat down and thought it through.
This was not going to be another one of those times where I reached the breaking point and just did it for her. She obviously wasn’t learning that way. She had to be taught to do it herself. Mags had to learn the skills necessary to clean her room…
…basics likes dusting, vacuuming – that she gets. I mean how to keep and care for her things, maintain and contain clutter, etc.
This was NOT a doing moment but a teaching moment and boy HOWDY, it was important. For both of us – mind, body, and spirit.
Which is why…
This time, I didn’t do. I taught.
- Mags saw the hoard.
- Mags dealt with the gross.
- Mags handled every item in her room.
- Mags cleaned every bit of it.
- Mags experienced every painful step.
- Mags does not want it to ever get that way again.
She realized and voiced (more than twice) out loud the impact of living in that space and the affect it was having over all her life. She never saw it before because one day her room would be gross and the next it would be spotless (MOMMY CLEAN). She now knows the effort it takes to keep things neat. Better than that is the pride she has in believing she can do it herself. She can because FINALLY I didn’t do, I taught.
I share these life lessons as they impact my world. This one, as it relates to us – Mags Room Challenge 2015 – but you must know, it’s much more than that. In all our lives, we must remember to stop and think: is this a moment to do or to teach? Then go forth and make it worthy. You never know who will be affected by what you bring. Be grateful always for the opportunity to NOT do, but teach!
All links within this post lead to other posts here at Informed Sharing, related to this topic. Except for this link: taking better care of her room* which takes you to my recent guest post over at Mending the Piggy Bank and also does relate to all that we’ve been going through with #MagsRoomChallenge2015. Thank you for stopping by and continuing to support us in our effort to thrive, not merely survive this thing we call LIFE! ♥