For as long as I can remember, my child has been a saver of…stuff. It really hasn’t mattered what it is, she simply saves EVERYTHING, most often with the caveat in place: you never know, mom, I might need it later OR I can use this to OR it’s a memory…
So is my child a hoarder? Because for almost as long as she’s been a saver of…stuff…we have had to deal with her messy bedroom and how to keep it from becoming too insane with…stuff. The emotional impact of her messy bedroom has most certainly played a role in our relationship throughout the years and I can recall at different times her anxiety with it, but also her inability to fix it or even deal with it, as well.
As an adult, I understand the emotional impact of a messy bedroom – how living in chaos can affect a person’s ability to function in all other areas of his or her life. Your bedroom should be a place of comfort and calm, your peaceful awakening in the morning and a blessed sanctuary at the end of a productive work day.
I’m not sure when the saving of…stuff…began, exactly. And I don’t mind it, really. Mostly. I love that my child wants to keep memories of things she’s done, places she’s been, family events, and moments she wants to hold on to…
Moments she wants to hold on to.
Is my child a hoarder?
I understand her need to preserve those moments in time. I even shoulder some of the weight, considering our home situation. Which is healthy; however, we are blended. And no matter how you spin it, there are some issues.
Having something to hold on to, preserve or even hide – because there may not ever be a next time…
I get that.
But there has to be a healthy balance of saving, remembering, keeping vs. HOARDING.
Is my child a hoarder?
Recently, we once again set about the task of cleaning out the hoard. The child’s room had, once again, become too much to bear. For me, most certainly. But more for her – though she would never admit it – I worried for her emotional well-being; the impact of her messy bedroom over all her life. It had to be affecting her.
a. she knew how it bothered me, the mess.
b. she was embarrassed by the mess.
c. she kept trying to clean her room but was so overwhelmed at that point that it was more of her moving things around from week to week…
Neither of us could see beyond the hoard and both of us were being impacted by its chaos.
Something had to be done.
For her health, for mine, for our relationship together. Most importantly – for her ability to function as a productive human – she needed to realize the emotional impact of her messy bedroom and accept that though it is perfectly okay to keep memories, hoarding…stuff (EVERYTHING) is not OKAY.
As you will discover throughout this #MagsRoomChallenge2015 series, it’s an ongoing process and we ARE merely human. To date, she is loving her new space, though she finds it “sorta boring”. Right now? She doesn’t have a lot of…stuff anymore.
So. Is my child a hoarder?
I believe my child has hoarding tendencies. Yes. She’s a saver of things. She has something within her that worries her heart and head for if (whatever) never happens again or missing out or…
She simply must hang on to…
(Yes. We are working through this: mentally, emotionally, and physically, too. You can save memories without piling up…stuff!)
It isn’t healthy emotionally for anyone to live in chaos. You cannot survive in it, you cannot THRIVE in it. And though we are only talking about one room – and a child’s bedroom, here – it matters throughout your home. The emotional impact of any mess upon a person can be detrimental to his or her overall life.
Consider this and take action. With the proper plan in place, it can be done.
Images fabulously edited using PicMonkey: crazy-awesome photo editing!
Please join me as we explore getting more organized throughout our home this year. I know I began the year doing just that; however, this #MagsRoomChallenge2015 popped up out of order and we are running with it. Please stay tuned for what’s to come as we learn how Mags is keeping her room and how we as a family have become better able to work together as a team in keeping our entire home clutter-free but full of love – and memories. Of course.